Finally!!!
I was awaken by the opening door and the conversation of a couple. Now, I have it all for myself.
Was furious last night seeing everything in a great mess and the stack of dust. Slept at four after cleaning the washroom.
Was listening to the complaints and for once, I felt no angst at all but frustrated with the inconsiderate move.
Dear used-to-be bff, whether or not you read this (which I do not think you do), I would like to thank you for getting me to grow and assisted me indirectly in getting to know humans better. Whether or not we will be seeing each other again, I trully treasurd the time we had and the things you shared with me. All the best in your future endeavour.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Burn
Have to thank my ex-lecturer for this video. He was giving us a quiz about Freud's instincts. Okay, you can google it...
Never get it out of my head after the quiz since last year. I guess I never will...
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Reflection of the Day
Why not?!
Why can't your girl friend have a bff of the opposite sex? I have no idea what is that suppose to mean.
Whatever that had happened which brought the two persons together as close friends do not matter anymore. What matters the most is the fact that you love her for whom she is and not to take parts of her away simply because you think it does not fit the norm.
Man, I do not know how many times I have to say this.
JUST FREAKING BE WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!
wth
Anyway, that is not the point. The major major point is whether you love yourself being in the picture with the person.
Maybe it is the latte. It is keeping me awake. Good thing though. I managed to think it over.
I am definitely not good in this but hey, I am studying human behaviours. I know exactly what you try to say. I admit I am not completely over with it but at least acknowledge my effort.
Complaints never end and so do rumours and faulty beliefs.
Why bother?!
Why can't your girl friend have a bff of the opposite sex? I have no idea what is that suppose to mean.
Whatever that had happened which brought the two persons together as close friends do not matter anymore. What matters the most is the fact that you love her for whom she is and not to take parts of her away simply because you think it does not fit the norm.
Man, I do not know how many times I have to say this.
JUST FREAKING BE WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!
wth
Anyway, that is not the point. The major major point is whether you love yourself being in the picture with the person.
Maybe it is the latte. It is keeping me awake. Good thing though. I managed to think it over.
I am definitely not good in this but hey, I am studying human behaviours. I know exactly what you try to say. I admit I am not completely over with it but at least acknowledge my effort.
Complaints never end and so do rumours and faulty beliefs.
Why bother?!
Monday, April 20, 2009
The very last minute of birthday
It was my birthday yesterday. Always wonder whether I will look any different after birthday...
Still looking sane. Eyes are still tak-balanced.
Still look zombified.
Still look the same as ever.
Still me... Why care =DSaturday, April 18, 2009
This Thing Just Have to Be Here
Argh... Cannot tahan anymore.
You text-ed me on the 16th and thinking my birthday falls on the next day. I had been with you for 3 years and my brith date is the last thing you remember? Frankly, I rather you forget about everything than making a mistake.
I CLEARLY still care. Not for you to know and not for you to care.
I had given you time and energy that I thought would turn into something better than what I am having right now. I am at the back of the line and I cannot say anything more about it. We gave each other the best. The outcome was just too bad...
It frustrated me a lot. I tried and you said I did not. I worked on it and you said it was of no value. I had no idea how I dealt with that and I still do not know for sure.
There is a thing I can conclude about you. You made wonders. You were able to make me the little lamb. Obligation is the word.
I blurted it to you face and I thought you should have known. Whatever it is, I am who I am and you are no one to comment on it.
Turn around please. My foot DESPERATELY need to meet your ass.
You text-ed me on the 16th and thinking my birthday falls on the next day. I had been with you for 3 years and my brith date is the last thing you remember? Frankly, I rather you forget about everything than making a mistake.
I CLEARLY still care. Not for you to know and not for you to care.
I had given you time and energy that I thought would turn into something better than what I am having right now. I am at the back of the line and I cannot say anything more about it. We gave each other the best. The outcome was just too bad...
It frustrated me a lot. I tried and you said I did not. I worked on it and you said it was of no value. I had no idea how I dealt with that and I still do not know for sure.
There is a thing I can conclude about you. You made wonders. You were able to make me the little lamb. Obligation is the word.
I blurted it to you face and I thought you should have known. Whatever it is, I am who I am and you are no one to comment on it.
Turn around please. My foot DESPERATELY need to meet your ass.
Random 18 April 09
I wanted to step out of my comfort zone this Sunday but looks like a lot of things do not allow me to do so...
I actually made the effort to sort of putting up myself to it and there, Alex mumbled something about Susan Boyle. We viewed it in Starbuck then.
I nearly broke down. It says so much about people and about me at the same time. I sincerely felt what she must had been feeling. People were being cynical in the beginning and I noticed a girl with her "Com'on..." face. She proved people wrong.
I thought I must have done something like that once in my life. Thus, I am beginning to make it a habit to have a small notebook with me around. Ideas just flow like nothing sometimes...
Anyway, there's this thing about the person whom I had given little regards to. Out of no where, she is not as friendly as before. Out of a sudden, she begins to speak and had expressed her gratitue for the things I had done for her. How strange. Wanted to ask but I guess it should stay as this since it had never been this great before.
Talked to Hailey after exam. Glad that she is finally committed. Way to go! (I am HELPING you to announce it. Be thankful! =P)
I just have to say this. I am SO not a detail person. This got me into quite some problems...
Okay. Enough complaints.
I am turning 22 and it's tomorrow. I am at home staring at this screen while thinking whether it would be any different if he were to be here and that we were "we".
The most precious 21st birthday gift from parents. Had been wearing them for a year now...
I actually made the effort to sort of putting up myself to it and there, Alex mumbled something about Susan Boyle. We viewed it in Starbuck then.
I nearly broke down. It says so much about people and about me at the same time. I sincerely felt what she must had been feeling. People were being cynical in the beginning and I noticed a girl with her "Com'on..." face. She proved people wrong.
I thought I must have done something like that once in my life. Thus, I am beginning to make it a habit to have a small notebook with me around. Ideas just flow like nothing sometimes...
Anyway, there's this thing about the person whom I had given little regards to. Out of no where, she is not as friendly as before. Out of a sudden, she begins to speak and had expressed her gratitue for the things I had done for her. How strange. Wanted to ask but I guess it should stay as this since it had never been this great before.
Talked to Hailey after exam. Glad that she is finally committed. Way to go! (I am HELPING you to announce it. Be thankful! =P)
I just have to say this. I am SO not a detail person. This got me into quite some problems...
Okay. Enough complaints.
I am turning 22 and it's tomorrow. I am at home staring at this screen while thinking whether it would be any different if he were to be here and that we were "we".
The most precious 21st birthday gift from parents. Had been wearing them for a year now...
Monday, April 6, 2009
Lifeless Thing You Are
Gosh... What is everyone doing with their lives?
Everyone needs a life and I am glad with mine. Nevertheless, some people are missing theirs or gradually losing theirs. Hey, who identifies what and what determines what? It is just the life you want to live and why wanna care about those of others?
I thought I should be doing more than what I am doing. At least not giving in to my impulses TOO MUCH. Is there even such a thing as that? Where is the standard and when it is deemed relevant?
I practically have a model for everything. Often times when they fail me, I am literally broken into pieces. I move on fast but at the point when things happen, I can hardly stand firm.
For the first time in my life, I exert full force into it. We were much more than what I thought we would be. The next moment we are at the other extreme end. I no longer bother whether there's a turning point. For a few times after the disclosure, I thought that it would make sense if I were to initiate and clarify everything once and for all... I learnt that I am wrong after today. Nothing will ever change anything anymore.
I may be burying all the emotions but I thought I rather bury them than to reveal it as if I am naked and you respond saying that I am ugly not wearing anything...
Making things hostile is never my idea. Whether or not you think it is my fault, you should understand that people live by rules and regulations. When it is explicitly stated in front of you, act-dunno is the last thing you want to do. It is very wrong to give it very little or no regards while everyone else in the same boat are observing you.
I do not mind not being a significant person in your life as I thought I never am. In fact, I thought I was the last person you would want to talk to. Not that I care anymore. I used to care about it so much that thinking about it makes me sad. It turns into irritation and hatred. I try to be forgiving then. It did not work well apparently. I also tried to be humble and it turned out bad when the responses were not desirable. We are different from each other and at the same time, very much identical to each other. However it may be, this has to end somehow. Be it good or bad.
Good luck to you.
Everyone needs a life and I am glad with mine. Nevertheless, some people are missing theirs or gradually losing theirs. Hey, who identifies what and what determines what? It is just the life you want to live and why wanna care about those of others?
I thought I should be doing more than what I am doing. At least not giving in to my impulses TOO MUCH. Is there even such a thing as that? Where is the standard and when it is deemed relevant?
I practically have a model for everything. Often times when they fail me, I am literally broken into pieces. I move on fast but at the point when things happen, I can hardly stand firm.
For the first time in my life, I exert full force into it. We were much more than what I thought we would be. The next moment we are at the other extreme end. I no longer bother whether there's a turning point. For a few times after the disclosure, I thought that it would make sense if I were to initiate and clarify everything once and for all... I learnt that I am wrong after today. Nothing will ever change anything anymore.
I may be burying all the emotions but I thought I rather bury them than to reveal it as if I am naked and you respond saying that I am ugly not wearing anything...
Making things hostile is never my idea. Whether or not you think it is my fault, you should understand that people live by rules and regulations. When it is explicitly stated in front of you, act-dunno is the last thing you want to do. It is very wrong to give it very little or no regards while everyone else in the same boat are observing you.
I do not mind not being a significant person in your life as I thought I never am. In fact, I thought I was the last person you would want to talk to. Not that I care anymore. I used to care about it so much that thinking about it makes me sad. It turns into irritation and hatred. I try to be forgiving then. It did not work well apparently. I also tried to be humble and it turned out bad when the responses were not desirable. We are different from each other and at the same time, very much identical to each other. However it may be, this has to end somehow. Be it good or bad.
Good luck to you.
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