Boyfie

I meant to do this earlier for you, boyfie. There are many things that I want to say and do for you. Give me a little time and I will show you the things that we can do together.

Taking the baby steps. Today, I dedicate this space for you because I want you to have it. Of course, you deserve it.

The day you poured your feeling to me is also the very first day I put my first step onto this path. For the rest of the journey, I chose to walk with you. On 28th February 2013, I trust us.

Be yourself, boyfie. That is the one thing that I want from you. If you need to change anything about yourself, let it be the your weight :D Listen to us! If we are meant to be, we will be. No matter what they say, you and I belong together. For the many many many days to come.

Confidence is of scarce. Let's have an adventure. Rocky or sandy; painful or sorrowful; it will only be fulfilling because I have you. Fill this cup of mine and I will do the same for you. No condition, no compromise. Just the way it was, is and will be.

Boyfie, keep me with you in whatever you do. My prayers are with you and between us, we have the Higher source which we embrace. It was through prayers, I had that vision. Fulfilling my own prophecy? Perhaps.

I am happy. Never mind the friction. Never mind the past.

When you were even skinner back then

Sorta our first date

The first milestone

Remember these? :D

Lots of love,
Cat

What a surprise

What a surprise.

How can I not see this coming. Really.

Hey there

Words were exchanged and finally, we had the ultimatum.

It felt like it had been forever. It was those memories that kept me awake some of the nights.

Because of you, I kept myself away. As silly as it sounds, I was waiting and expecting. While it did not happen, another door opened for me. Warm and welcoming.

Ever since that day, everything became clear. I found another way to lead a meaningful life.

Glad that WE happened. Glad that WE had a past that I can remember.

Love was almost the only thing we had.

"The best I had and ever will have"

Nothing is ever good enough for we are engineered in the manner to strive for more, the best and the most. What we don't know is that there's no end to it.

"The best I had and ever will have"

Given that you know you own the greatest of all, will you still let it go? Why? Searching for something 'fresh'? Something that give you more pride? Or it's not really the best after all?

I can only say that it could be better. Damage has been done and forever it will stay damaged. Words were sharp and harsh. So be it. Honestly, I don't remember those anymore.

Love binds and separates. How ironic.

"If you love me, maybe you should let me go"

Maybe.

[Movie Reflection] The Last Tycoon

More of a romance than anything else I thought it would be.

Love was what they had and promises stayed till the moment when he came clean. She made an assumption that she could not live with the changes unveiled in front of her. She walked away and found another life that she thought would be perfect. Years later, they met again and the fire went on burning. Love is still what they have...

Does love guarantees a happy married life? Will love be strong enough to offset flaws? Can love last forever?

Screw That Love Song

Screw it! I had retyped this line for zillion times and that's it. No more rephrasing.

A close friend told me that I should enjoy what I am experiencing right now, lost and confused. And she promised that I will eventually get through it. The funny thing was, I used to know what I want to do with my life. It all went hay wire after a couple of failed relationships. Amazing what they did to me.

It has been three months since the last relationship and a whole lot of things happened since then. I can only described it "messy". It is so messy and I was vulnerable and lost. I hopped on one thing to another just to make myself feel better. Impulsive decisions were made and regretted. Some were beautifully wrong. Yes, they were beautiful. Of how it turned out eventually.

Attention received and tears dropped. I am hopeful yet fearful. Love life never go easy on me.

I repeat

Two months had gone by.

Reality kicked in yesterday with tremendous pain and fear. The smoke rose and the heart sunk.

A friend once told me about making choices, "There are no right or wrong choices. Only choices. Once made, you live it".

The same shit hole, will you jump into it more than once?

Sometimes choices are made obvious. Most of the times, it does not. It came clear but later, it turned sour.

Happiness is overrated. I repeat.