This Thing Just Have to Be Here

Argh... Cannot tahan anymore.

You text-ed me on the 16th and thinking my birthday falls on the next day. I had been with you for 3 years and my brith date is the last thing you remember? Frankly, I rather you forget about everything than making a mistake.

I CLEARLY still care. Not for you to know and not for you to care.

I had given you time and energy that I thought would turn into something better than what I am having right now. I am at the back of the line and I cannot say anything more about it. We gave each other the best. The outcome was just too bad...

It frustrated me a lot. I tried and you said I did not. I worked on it and you said it was of no value. I had no idea how I dealt with that and I still do not know for sure.

There is a thing I can conclude about you. You made wonders. You were able to make me the little lamb. Obligation is the word.

I blurted it to you face and I thought you should have known. Whatever it is, I am who I am and you are no one to comment on it.

Turn around please. My foot DESPERATELY need to meet your ass.

Random 18 April 09

I wanted to step out of my comfort zone this Sunday but looks like a lot of things do not allow me to do so...


I actually made the effort to sort of putting up myself to it and there, Alex mumbled something about Susan Boyle. We viewed it in Starbuck then.



I nearly broke down. It says so much about people and about me at the same time. I sincerely felt what she must had been feeling. People were being cynical in the beginning and I noticed a girl with her "Com'on..." face. She proved people wrong.



I thought I must have done something like that once in my life. Thus, I am beginning to make it a habit to have a small notebook with me around. Ideas just flow like nothing sometimes...



Anyway, there's this thing about the person whom I had given little regards to. Out of no where, she is not as friendly as before. Out of a sudden, she begins to speak and had expressed her gratitue for the things I had done for her. How strange. Wanted to ask but I guess it should stay as this since it had never been this great before.



Talked to Hailey after exam. Glad that she is finally committed. Way to go! (I am HELPING you to announce it. Be thankful! =P)



I just have to say this. I am SO not a detail person. This got me into quite some problems...



Okay. Enough complaints.



I am turning 22 and it's tomorrow. I am at home staring at this screen while thinking whether it would be any different if he were to be here and that we were "we".



The most precious 21st birthday gift from parents. Had been wearing them for a year now...

Lifeless Thing You Are

Gosh... What is everyone doing with their lives?

Everyone needs a life and I am glad with mine. Nevertheless, some people are missing theirs or gradually losing theirs. Hey, who identifies what and what determines what? It is just the life you want to live and why wanna care about those of others?

I thought I should be doing more than what I am doing. At least not giving in to my impulses TOO MUCH. Is there even such a thing as that? Where is the standard and when it is deemed relevant?

I practically have a model for everything. Often times when they fail me, I am literally broken into pieces. I move on fast but at the point when things happen, I can hardly stand firm.

For the first time in my life, I exert full force into it. We were much more than what I thought we would be. The next moment we are at the other extreme end. I no longer bother whether there's a turning point. For a few times after the disclosure, I thought that it would make sense if I were to initiate and clarify everything once and for all... I learnt that I am wrong after today. Nothing will ever change anything anymore.

I may be burying all the emotions but I thought I rather bury them than to reveal it as if I am naked and you respond saying that I am ugly not wearing anything...

Making things hostile is never my idea. Whether or not you think it is my fault, you should understand that people live by rules and regulations. When it is explicitly stated in front of you, act-dunno is the last thing you want to do. It is very wrong to give it very little or no regards while everyone else in the same boat are observing you.

I do not mind not being a significant person in your life as I thought I never am. In fact, I thought I was the last person you would want to talk to. Not that I care anymore. I used to care about it so much that thinking about it makes me sad. It turns into irritation and hatred. I try to be forgiving then. It did not work well apparently. I also tried to be humble and it turned out bad when the responses were not desirable. We are different from each other and at the same time, very much identical to each other. However it may be, this has to end somehow. Be it good or bad.

Good luck to you.

The Art of Love

Pillow Fight Day (4th April 2009)

I decided to gave in to my impuleses and do something crazy. Alex's younger brother, Christopher came down for the weekend. Initially, Alex planned to bring Chris to Sunway Lagoon and had been sending out emails to invite everyone. It didn't turn out well and according to him, everyone started giving excuses not to go or turned the offer down at the last minute. Thus, there comes my proposal of going for pillow fight!

Nice Meeting you, Chris.

This picture taken in Tesco. Both Alex and Chris need pillows to actually pillow fight....


The gathering point was in The Curve. There, were assigned to the white team!


Lisa joined us at the gathering point and there, we managed to make some new friends!

I have to say that Alex was much more excited than me when he saw the crowd... I thought someone ticked his thick eyebrow so high that he doubted that there would be more fun than Sunway Lagoon...

Supposedly over 600 people, we thought there were only about 150 people.




This is taken after the fighting. We really had a lot of fun. This is the time where you can hit people with your pillows without asking WHICH is ALWAYS forbiddened by parents when I was young =P

I mean when I was small...


I wanna be the one to mediate the fight next year!!


Frankly, I enjoyed the attention. Alot of people taking pictures an a lot of shoppers gathered around to see what these fools were up to. Lolz.

Went to Marche for early dinner with the newly met friends. Stella and Rebecca sitting on my left. Nice meeting you!!

I managed to get all of them to put signature and leave a message on my sacrificed pillow.

And I bought the RA shirt which I always wanted =)

Well, I may not love KL that much but I do... to a certain extent LAR..

Please...

Man... Does it even cross your mind about the thing you do is so kiddo that you'll eventully hate yourself for that?

If you cannot take it, leave it. I understand and it does not hurt even a bit. It is only you and you alone. Do you have any idea that it takes a lot of OTHER things into consideration and not solely you? Ooops... Of course you do not or you would not be here to become the eye sore for everybody. Get to know your stand in this place and get it planted deep into the skull.

Go on mumbling... As if i do not know what you are saying.

Please...

I did not look like how I look like right now

Believe me when I say I did not look like how I look like right now.

Let's allow the picture illustrate what I said.

This is taken in the house of Aunt Theresa wen her daughter was getting married.

Yes, Friendz forever....

Aha... This is more apparent. Taken at least 3 years back.

In foundation with Malaysian Studies group mates.

Now... What do you think?